how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
