Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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