some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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