just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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