i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
