Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my shit smells like andre
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
