The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
