i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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