i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
