Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
