I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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