If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
