mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
