Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How external is "for external use only"?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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