hotel room ftw
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
