porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
