id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
