I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
