bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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