Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
