Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
