I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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