Buhtt sex?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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