Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
BRING THE BAGELS
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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