is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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