I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
