Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
