How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
