im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
