im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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