I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize