1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
