Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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