6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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