Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
