Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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