wrigley field is MILF paradise
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
