I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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