you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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