doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
