I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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