everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
