Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
