i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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