She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
