I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
