piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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