this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
