i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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