It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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